Conflict

Ok I got a secret, I really do. I want to share something startling and downright scary, conflict! Many of us hear this word and we are terrified. I have to tell you I have gone to great lengths to avoid this beast and many times I have had to settle it with a greater cost. Think about how many times things went horribly wrong when you sat on something and hoped it would go away. The longer you waited the bigger the thing got and before long you got Godzilla marching through your life.

So how do you handle conflict, firstly you have to realize conflict is going to happen especially in a church. Wait you mean there are conflicts in church, but everyone is so nice and friendly. I have learned church people can be very unfriendly if you mess with things they love. Add in ages differences, no generational differences, cultures, gender, not to mention sin and a host of other factors and you have a potentially biohazard on your hands. So you have to realize conflict is going to happen and it's ok. Yup, it's ok. In fact if you don't have conflict I think there is something wrong with the church. It's like when your three year gets quiet, when that happens I'm scared! So conflict is going to happen and it's ok, so how do I handle it?

As soon as a conflict starts the person who is offended needs to go to the offender. As soon as humanly possible the person in question needs to be gentle and respectfully confront. Keep this in mind, 97% of what people say and do are done with the best intentions at heart. I know you think I'm naïve, but I truly believe that, they simply don't have the skills or the ability to get it right. I can't tell you how many times people say things to me that I could easily take offense to, but I know they have my best interest at heart. They just said it wrongly, or they didn't know all the facts involved. If you do this you will solve almost all of your conflict issues, even if it is just agreeing to disagree.

In the end you will learn the other person better, they will learn something about you and everyone will benefit. So next time someone hurts you, offends you or whatever you want to call it, deal with the person directly. Don't talk about them for months to everyone else, or let it build up inside you until you burst. Deal with it and accept the outcome. We must always remember what is at stake. It's the gospel of Christ. Jesus said, "By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."  (John 13:35) We don't want to do anything that would tarnish, take away from or harm the gospel of Christ. The world is watching and many people will turn away from or embrace Christ by the way we treat each other, think about it!


-ps