Forgiveness

"If a brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.
Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent,' you must forgive them."

Jesus has a ways with words. I read this verse and I have to stop dead in my tracks and think about what he is saying, because the first part of this verse is easy, "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them." I got that down as a human being, I can tell someone else where they messed up. But the rest of this verse causes a lump in my throat and if I watch my right foot, it almost does a little stomp and twist thing. I mean really I don't mind forgiving someone once, but every time? Isn't there a saying that goes something like, "sting me once shame on you, sting me twice shame on me'. Jesus is saying here sting me and repent, I am to forgive that person. Now I know someone is reading this and saying, "Jesus is saying the person has to truly mean it or the deal is off". I would ask this person, "how do you know the person truly means it and how would you determine it?" I don't think we can unless we have a lie detector lying around.

But there is one word here that really hits me; it's the word 'must'. "You must forgive them", what if you don't want to forgive them or maybe they have done something so terrible they don't deserve to be forgiven? Is Jesus saying I have to forgive them? I have a sister whom I love but we have had a broken relationship our whole lives. For reasons unknown she has chosen to punish our entire family by her absence. I have to say she has hurt me on levels that no one has. I find myself mad at the way she treats our mother, refusing to let her see her two grandkids. I have had my mother wake me up crying in the phone, lamenting her loss. This raises in me a real need to protect my mother, but there is nothing I can do. Despite this I am to forgive her. Jesus says I must forgive her and I have to pray I would. I pray for her and her family and I know someday I will face her again. I like to think in my heart I have already forgiven her, she is my sister. But in reality I will not know until she is standing in front of me again.

Here is what I do know from experience. Not to forgive is cancerous; it rots you from the inside out. You cannot harbor bitterness and love in your heart; you must choose which one you want to keep. The one you choose to keep will determine your relationships with everyone around you. Most of all you cannot have bitterness and God in the same place. So when Jesus says you must forgive, you must if you want him in your life. You must if you want to love; you must if you want to live. I know people who have bitterness in their heart, long ago someone wronged them and they have never forgiven. It reflects in their action towards others, it shows itself when they don't get their way. They walk around and are never truly satisfied with anything.

So read this verse again and let it sink in deep and if you have someone you need to forgive, forgive them. You will be amazed at the result.

-ps